Warning Signs:
Does Your Partner...
- Threaten to harm you, your children, or your pets?
- Call you names or tell you you're stupid?
- Withhold your medications?
- Throw things, or break your things?
- Open your mail, or read your journal?
- Control your economic decisions?
- Demand to know where you are all the time, and ask you who you're with, and where you're going?
- Threaten constantly to break up with you, or constantly worry about or accuse you of breaking up with him/her?
Do you...
- Feel like you're walking on eggshells?
- Change your behavior to deal with her/his moods?
- Not see family or friends to avoid her/his jealousy or anger?
- Feel threatened or scared by your partner's moods, actions or behaviors?
If You Are Being Abused
If your partner has been abusive, it is not your fault. Your partner, and only your partner, is responsible for his or her abusive behavior. You may feel alone. You are not. There are people who will listen to you, believe you, and support you no matter what. Here are some things to keep in mind:
- Remind yourself that you are not to blame for the abuse.
- Remember that alcohol or drugs are not to blame for the abuse. Only your partner is to blame for his or her abusive behavior.
- Be aware that your partner can trace your e-mails and phone calls.
- Talk to people you trust about what is going on and how you feel about it.
- Join a support group.
- Call Safe Passage's hotline at (413) 586-5066 or call toll-free (888) 345-5282 and talk to a counselor who will listen to you and not judge you.
- Talk to a friend or counselor who can help you think about your options and create a safety plan.
- Keep important phone numbers (family, friends, hotlines) close by.
- Have birth certificates, social security cards, medical records, and extra keys stored in a safe place.
- Think about what is the best decision for you right now.
- Be aware that anything can be used as a weapon.
- Think about where the safest place in your home is and where there is an easy exit.
- If you need to leave, think about where you can go and who can help you.
- Use your fear as your guide. If your intuition says to get out of the house, then leave immediately.
Safety with Children
- Teach children not to get into the middle of a fight, even if they think they are helping.
- Teach them to dial 911 in an emergency.
- If they are old enough, teach them a safe place to go during a violent incident.
- Inform the children's school or daycare about the violence and whether there is a protective order in place.
- Tell the children not to tell anyone their address.
Remember that you are not alone! Call our 24-hour hotline or come into our office to talk to a counselor about what you are going through.
How Can I Get Help?
All of Safe Passage's services are free, confidential, and available in Spanish or English. Translation of other languages and additional accommodations are made as needed. All of our facilities are wheelchair accessible. Click here for a list of our services.
You have the right to:
- Request help and receive help.
- Be treated with respect.
- Express your feelings, thoughts, and ideas.
- Make your own decisions and have them respected.
- Say no without feeling guilty.
- Feel safe in your relationship, your home and your community.